DARK PLACES

When light is only next door...

YOLO… You Only Live Once. This is a new phrase I learnt this year. This has made me want to make every moment count. Every single thing I do has to be what I want to do. Yesterday, I watched Katt William’s stand up comedy. For a moment, I forgot about my worries. Everything else took a second place. It was a whole hour of comedy but what got me was a statement he made: “All comedy comes from a dark place.” I thought to myself how true that statement is. So this post is about dark places.

There was a time I thought that I was in a dark place. That was a time that I almost lost it. I thought that it was too big a burden. In my anguish I cried every night. God must love me. He put me out of my misery by bringing me close to a friend who was going through something I could never handle and still remain sane. I was in my teens and the realization that there are bigger problems that people go through and still live to tell them took me out of my imprisoned mind. I am not talking about heartaches or any of that bull… I am talking about loss. I saw my friend remain strong, optimistic and positive without any compromise. She was that strong in the face of grave pain, one after another. I got out of my own misery and got inspired.

Before I loose myself in that, I will say that all the inspiration in my life has come from a dark place. Dark places are good. Not only do they inspire, but they also ground us. Every single thing that I have singly taken the time and gone an extra mile for has been inspired by a dark place. “Rejoice in all circumstances; happiness and sadness” This statement has never been clearer like it is now.

Lord knows it will take another world, another life; another place, another time.

Crawling through this

Dark place in my life

Driven here by my longing

For the loving companion

I once had belief, now lost,

I would find in her.

As the darkness infuses all,

Working, writing, dinner with friends

Become unsettled by a

Gnawing sense of lack.

Passion snuffed out,

Life is only a shallow

Dark place,

Day and long night.

My mind appeals to my heart

With bright places remembered.

Intellectually I know this

Dark blanket of longing has edges,

Yet I keep it pulled over my head

In easy perverted justification

Of avoiding more pain

From falling down here again.

Until one day,

As swelling frustration

Becomes a surrogate

For strength,

I stand up and leave.

Sincerely,

Nekoye